Making love to your car

On my recent walks through the Metropolis I witnessed several people engaged in a sunshine obsession. Making love to your car. The culprits seem to be men. Great care is taken to ensure every centimetre of the car‘s surface is caressed as if it was a beautiful woman. Porn film directors could use this as a professional development study. There is a lot to learn here.

Most men use a variety of products which could rival a teenage girl‘s beauty product collection. Bottles of green and pink magic potions are applied. The vehicle’s skin is lavishly shampooed and conditioned and rigorously polished. The bonnet, like a curvy bum is eyed up from different angles, then polished a tad more for good measure. It’s a wonderful display of affection, attention and love. Sadly it’s directed at a thing. A car is a thing. It’s purpose is to take you from A to C via B and back.

Car wash laypeople like me think the rain will do the job on the outside. On the inside a six monthly look around combined with a nice air freshener on the rear view mirror will suffice. No need to for a 45 minute love-making session. But the hardcore car wash guys take this to degree level. Washing a car becomes a concerted event. A car must be freed from the dust of the Metropolis. It needs to shine in sterile splendour, like a virgin car fresh from the showroom. Looking at some of the guys involved in this prolonged intimacy session one would hope that they spend equal amounts of time, money and attention on the cleanliness of their body, beard and hair and their partner.

The more expensive the car, the more endurance the owner shows in cleaning it. We should find out whether the same level of scrutiny is given to the cleaning of the toilet or oven? Mostly the car appears to be clean anyway so what’s the point? This reminds me of women who clean the house before the cleaner arrives. Why would you do that? Such idiocy is incredible.

Back in the olden days, when I was little, you used to see kids and dads clean cars together. Today, that’s a no no. In the Metropolis this has become an exclusively male activity. Personally, I feel washing a car is like cleaning shoes. Pointless. A waste of energy. If the owner of the car or the wearer of the shoes is a firecracker all attention will be on them anyway. Nobody will notice the car or shoes. Hm, let me overthink this …






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Lifestyle blogger sarcastically commenting on observations in the Metropolis. Overthinking and introverted.

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