Hobby jobs, hubby jobs

A few month ago, I got an email from one of those co-working office spaces looking for new renters. In order to appear human, they included a selection of people who already rented an office. Each one offered a short bio next to their cute picture. A bio is one of those newborn personal introductions which have become fancy. It’s like an advertisement for yourself. Others have the chance to assess your coolness factor whilst you appear super-approachable and fun yet professional and grounded in your own zen.


Anyway, I was astonished by the selection of jobs people have chosen to undertake. Every career adviser in schools would staple their ears to the wall if a 15 year old came up with those jobs. Thank god there aren’t many career advisers around anymore (lack of government funding but that’s another issue) or else the suicide rate amongst them would be as high as the bloody office building where you can rent a space.

Back to those jobs. Here we go: candle maker, clothes consultant, mindset facilitator, card maker or motivational speaker. Can you spot the pattern? Yes, they are all unnecessary. Imagine those jobs didn’t exist. The world would still be turning. I call those jobs, hobby jobs or rich hubby jobs. Why? Because they don’t pay bills. They require a financially stable background in disguise of a rich husband, lover or sugar daddy. They are also the sort of jobs that rely on rich clientele having too much money to waste on something unnecessary.

Let’s be honest, how many candles do you need to sell to afford an office in the west of the Metropolis and then pay your usual bills, such as mortgage, council tax, etc, etc, etc… An impossible undertaking. Unless of course, bills are already taken care off by someone else. Equally, how did people get dressed before the clothes consultant came around telling them that green and blue look like shite when worn together. Did they get fined regularly by the fashion police? Did they walk around naked? No, I doubt it. How did people get on with life without a motivational speaker?  How was anything invented or discovered without them? I know. People just got their act together, got up in the morning and got going. Life happened without those people with fake jobs on a self-finding mission. 

In the past those sort of things were hobbies for kids who had housewife mums. Now they have become respectable ways of stealing cash from people who have more money than sense. Maybe I am just ignorant. In fact, I am, because in my backyard you learn a real job with paperwork and proper qualifications. A job that in principle should make a difference in society and can pay the bills, unless you get one of those billionaire I put you on a zero hours contract bosses. 

Remember a few month ago when Jürgen Klinsmann had to provide details of the continued professional development sessions he had undertaken to keep his Hertha BSC job? This is the sort of next level stuff I am talking about. The guy who led Germany to a third place finish in the 2006 World Cup had to provide paperwork to prove he knew what this football coaching thing was all about. A candle did not cut it. No! Real certificates were needed to evidence the obvious. But, he did try his hand on clothes consulting, making the players walze around in real life  clothes rather than PE kit when not on the pitch. Good on you Klinsi. Hm, let me overthink this …

#letmeoverthinkthis #observationsfromthemetropolis #hobbyjobs #hubbyjobs

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Lifestyle blogger sarcastically commenting on observations in the Metropolis. Overthinking and introverted.

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