SUV or the socially unfit vehicle

The SUV sounds like a special unit in the FBI but it isn’t. The SUV must be one of the truly annoying spectacles in the metropolis. I admit I am not a car pro. Mostly I judge cars as I judge dresses by colour, cuteness and affordability. I had to google this SUV thing. Afterwards someone told me it’s not called SUV in Britain, but what the hell… Anyway, I found out that SUV stands for sport utility vehicle, a motor vehicle that combines elements of road-going passenger cars with features from off-road vehicles. Okay?!

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My big question. Where in the metropolis are we in need of off-road features? I am not talking about countryside folk but townspeople. I get the first part about road-going passenger cars but off-road is what gets me. Off-road as in when those terminator style tanks use the whole road and half the pavement? Off-road as in when they park so close to your sensible sized car that you cannot open the door any longer? Off-road as in getting the kids to a school five minutes away from home?

Where is the need for those cars? What can they do that a normal car can’t? Can they fly? Can they cook? Can they entertain children? If not, there is no use for them in the metropolis. The drivers bug me too. When you ask them why they spend a fortune on such a monster, they will most certainly refer to safety. Theirs of course. Sadly, statistics tell us that an SUV more often than not causes terrible injuries when involved in accidents with children on the road.

Unsure how to handle such a space ship, some drivers can’t get into parking spaces and take over the whole road. Some of the shorter folks appear to steal their kiddo‘s booster seat once they have climbed into the tractor using a bloody ladder. Funny, how they pollute the air with those machines but then go home to cook hippie style food to make sure the little darlings are getting their organic dose of mash. And in ten years time they have to pick up the sulky teenager from the fast food chain restaurant, very likely in the next version of SUV obsession because the kid will find any other car a trigger for a social anxiety attack.  Hm, let me overthink this …

#suv #observationsfromthemetropolis #felicityfauxpas

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